How to Deal with Loneliness as a Christian

christian dealing with loneliness

There is no question that the best company we can have is the Lord.  It is a given that He is always with us.  So why do some of us feel lonely at times, may be too often?

Consider this as a possibility.  For me, at those times, in those moments, I feel that Jesus wants me and needs me to interact with others, with my neighbors.

christian dealing with loneliness

Connecting with others is part of Love Thy Neighbor

Loving our neighbors is a fundamental part of Jesus’ teachings, of Christianity.  One key to loving our neighbors is reaching out and building connections.  Us, humans, interacting and relating to each other, helping each other, are crucial parts of our physical lives.  Loving our neighbors embodies this notion; loving our neighbors includes reaching out and conversing, it includes helping another person smile.  Jesus chose to reach out and to give, to help all those around him see the right way to live.

For the rest of us, it is simpler.  We don’t need to go so far as teach with every word we speak.  All we need to do is interact, reach out, build new relationships and nurture existing ones.

Feeling lonely is a calling to connect with others

Unfortunately, in spite of the thousands of people around us, and the billions on earth, we still often fall into the trap of felling alone.  Such a feeling is usually an indication that there is something we need to do, possibly a calling from Jesus to reach out and connect with others.  I find it so effective to simply talk to another person, to my neighbor; not necessarily about problems, but about the simple things in life, be it the weather, a local team, or a great restaurant.

The first step can be looking for ways to reach out.  The internet is an amazing gift for building new interests and for finding people with such similar interests.  It makes the possibilities almost endless, making neighbors with those miles away.  The only catch is that it takes a couple of proactive steps, such as doing a search, choosing a couple of possibilities, and attending an event or two a week.

The internet makes it that much more possible to find ideas and things to do with other people.  It can be a writing group, a book club, playing basketball pickup games, or even board games.  There are also groups for dance lessons, for discussions about a given profession, or simply gatherings to go to a movie. is one great example and tool for finding groups that other people started.  The service also allows anyone to start a group of their own that would be appealing to others nearby.

Imagine enjoying an activity as encouragement to take that first step

Still, it might be easier said than done.  It is these first few proactive steps that may be the most challenging.  To overcome the challenge of taking these steps, I sometimes imagine the fun it would be to play a new instrument, or to play beginner soccer with a few people.

Remember though that our commitment to church and bible study remain the priority.  It is crucial that we maintain our connection and spend time with those who share our spiritual and religious beliefs.  On the other days or evenings, building new connections and investing into ones we already have, are necessary ways to live by the rule of loving our neighbors, and to help us answer that call we might feel from loneliness.

How to Find a Christian Wife

find a christian wife

As any Christian can attest, waiting on God’s plan can be frustrating. In a technological age that can pinpoint the location of anybody, anywhere, it seems foreign to have to search for anything at all.  In our instant society, we grow accustomed to getting what we want, when we want.find a christian wife

While this may be true for the ‘stuff’ we accumulate, the same can not be said for finding a spouse. There is no easy button to cause a lifemate to appear or even ‘how-to’ books that can guarantee success. This isn’t the same thing as learning how to drive a car.

People are much more complicated. People don’t come with instruction manuals, or warranties, or factory setting resets. People are messy, with emotions and independent thoughts and flaws–lots and lots of flaws.

The question, then, is how exactly does a young man find a Christian wife in the 21st Century?

Start With Scripture

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. -Proverbs 31:10

The cornerstone of the Christian faith is the wisdom found in The Holy Bible. Whether searching the Old or New Testament, examples abound of God’s direction for singles. One example can be found in Proverbs 31:10, where we learn that a wife of noble character is more valuable than precious gems. From this verse alone, it is obvious that looking at the integrity of a woman and the actions that she takes to express her heart is vital and will enrich the life of the young man who asks her to be his wife.

Taking the time to meditate on Scripture and understand the Biblical principles behind marriage is also a wise decision. What does God say about a husband’s role in the relationship? How should the finances be handled, or whose responsibility does the spiritual atmosphere of the household belong to? What if they eventually want to have children? These are the kinds of questions that should be explored by reading and understanding the Bible.

dating advice

Take a Look in the Mirror

It may seem a bit contradictory to say “look in the mirror to find a wife” but it is virtually impossible to succeed in any relationship (let alone in a marriage) unless both parties are committed to presenting their very best self. Young men who know themselves well before looking for a wife will have a greater chance of succeeding in finding a mate they can see themselves growing older with.

Having the character of Christ and displaying the Fruit of the Spirit are ways that potential grooms can determine if they are ready to begin the search for a Christian wife. Now, this is not to say that perfection should be expected. Not by any means! Perfection is obviously an unattainable goal, in ourselves and in others. It is, however, important to strive for continual growth and development, reaching toward that higher calling in Christ Jesus (as we are encouraged in Philippians 3:14).

Use Your GPS

It’s true that there is no electronic gadgetry to help determine who would make a great wife. But as a Christian, every young man has something even more powerful than the GPS they will need on their next vacation. Every Christian has the very powerful, very effective tool of prayer!

Many people find prayer intimidating, but the truth is, it is just a conversation that shares a person’s thoughts and hopes with the same God who already knows him well. When looking for a Christian wife, spending time in prayer and taking the time to listen will serve as effective tools.